Saturday, April 2, 2011

Here lately

Here lately I have been thinking about this blog more and I know that I have not done it justice. For one I am a little busy and that is a good thing because that has to mean that I feel really good. That is true. I really do feel like "my old self" most of the time. I will occasionally have little pains in my heart or little funny feelings that remind me of what my heart has endured and how blessed I am to still be here. Those little pains or moments of questioning "Is this normal or something bad?" can be really scary. I was told by my cardiologist (Dr. Perry @ UAB-FABULOUS!!!) that I will just have to relearn what is normal for my body. One because after a heart attack you feel and question EVERYTHING (So true!)and also there is a "new normal", in my opinion, after having heart attacks and intervention. So I am not really sure if the little pains(only occasionally) are new little pains or just me actually being more aware. I always had little twitches with my heart for as long as I can remember but I would always be like, "that was a little odd" and move on because I was young and healthy but now it is a little different. Now don't get me wrong, these are not severe pains or anything that I REALLY FEEL I SHOULD SEEK HELP because I would do that in an instant. I didn't play on either occasions that I had my heart attacks. :)

The second reason that I feel I have not done justice to this blog is because even though I have never had a problem sharing my feelings with people that I care about, it is a little different to type them out on a blog. Not that I think I have a large following (I did notice the two comments just the other day from you. Not sure why I did not get a notice in my email because I had no idea-sorry) and am afraid for people to read them but maybe I just do not really know how to start or to put them into words but I am going to try. I really think it would be a good thing for me and possibly anyone that is going through something similar and that might happen to find my blog to know my feelings during those weeks in the hospital and the time after when I was working through it emotionally. So you have my promise that I will do that! I do have two small girls that I am at home with so the posts may be sporadic but they will be posted!

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